It's April 18th, but it's cold, cold, cold. There's really only one thing to do under the circumstances, but the sad truth is that I'm out of chocolate. It's not a minor problem. I can't eat gluten or milk, so skipping on down to the gas station doesn't help.
In my desperation, I've done the next best thing. I've written a love poem to Trader Joe's. I think it helped. I think I've got enough endorphins now to finish this thing up. Wow, chocolate's good. Just thinking about it helps.
by Rachel Terry
Trader Joe's, you're not a person
but I love you very much.
You have artichokes and snap peas
And arugula and such.
When I'm with you I feel normal
('cuz your bread is gluten-free),
Not like a freak of nature
or a yoga devotee.
You have the stuff I need
to make a dairy-free souffle
And even if you didn't
I'd still visit anyway.
There's the dude who gives out samples
of the foods I can digest,
Stuff like Southwest Quinoa Salad
With of Hint of Lime-y Zest
But the best of all, Dear Trader Joe's,
as far as I can see,
Is your dairy-free dark choc'late.
Yep, you are the one for me.
April 18, 2013